Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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