I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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