he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
