is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I just found puke in my bra..
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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