god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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