just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
50% drunk capacity currently
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
