My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
