saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
