Don't you send me to vm
Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
