So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
