why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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