Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
