She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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