i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Randomize
