Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
