Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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