Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
