he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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