I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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