I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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