May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I'm experimenting with sincerity
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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