Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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