I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
