Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
then he tried to convert me to islam
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
