He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
