just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
