You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
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