cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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