This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
