Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize