After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
