I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
