I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
