i would punch a child for taco bell
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
