What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
