If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
