I'm so fucking centered right now
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
i've created a new STD.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
