Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
