Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Randomize