After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Randomize
