FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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