I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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