I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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