my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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