Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
