i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize