I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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