cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
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