I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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