two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
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