I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
my shit smells like andre
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
