P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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