I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Randomize
