if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Randomize
