dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Randomize