I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
