I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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