There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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