it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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