I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
