so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
