ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
