SEEEEXXX PLEASE
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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