i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
We got so high we made milksteak
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
