Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
