i would punch a child for taco bell
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
