I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
i black out too much to be "responsible"
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
