He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
