I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
