on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
stop calling my apartment porn island.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize